30/09/09

my mood today is super duper damn down,sigh~ the one word suitable for me now is STUPID!chat with my friend just now again..i think only her can know what i'm really want,what i'm really think about it..she told me that after she viewed my blog can felt that me very very moody recently..izzit my blog make you feels like that?hmmp..i'm also the one trying to change but seems like very hard for meT_T sometime want cry but i force myself don't cry!hate the feelings like that!my friend said may be after cry you will feel better?i think so..but i really don't want cry just because of that.....really don't want!so i try and try just to be normal back!!!sigh~ wanrou,you told me many..but me really no yong qi nehs,you know the reason right?so i'm trying my best now..sigh~ hope can over now,really hope that..may be i'm the one most stupid..always do the stupid things,always think to stupid way,always said the stupid things..can be someone just stop me??i scare one day i really can't handle it..it's hard!very hard!it's over from now on!!!!!!!!!!!!

夜空的流星向寒冷的北方下坠
往北斗星的方位
你在我不了解的世界
城市的爱情弥漫着多少的虚伪
在表情冷漠的街上演着离别
将过去刻化成石碑
我温习所有情节
却刻出一个字叫后悔
星星的眼泪满天的风雪
我被回忆四面威胁
你拒绝了解什么叫凋谢
什么叫做哭着失去一切
星星的眼泪满天的风雪
谁不为爱伤痕累累
你竟然坚决将故事结尾
我的笑容已经不完美
只有夏天盛开的玫瑰放肆的嘲笑落叶
自己却不敢不敢面对被搁在玻璃瓶的岁月

gonna have a short post today cause it's 12.25am now,hehe!

today woke up around 8am,still felt that want continue sleep nehs..but i can't cause still have to work,hehe!and today whole day at bookstore really fight with my 8 boxes of books!lols!til my hand pain=.=!hmmp..what can i do?me and my friend even just done for one box plus only ler..then i think till next next week just can finish all the comics and novel..and this time got many chinese novel ler,i like to read..even i know the love story in novel won't happen in our reality,may be really got,just the percent is 0.01 nehs.. but just feel want to read lo,may be the love story is too perfect!but in reality?it's hard,right?hmmpp....so just read for fun lo,hehe=) cause at bookstore boring also nehs,when nothing to do then is the time for me to read lo,teehee=p

did some mistake today..hope can forgive me,i know you very good..hehe=) won't repeat again,hehe..

hey sis!i received the photos that you sent to me!lols!!still wrote what angel o?why i can't see the ring on your head and the wings nehs?hahaha=D you is inside the operation room right??then still can took pic?and still used the light made yourself really like angel jiang wor..mummy laugh after she see the photos ler!haha!so you please stop do the stupid things!hahhahaha=p i go report your doctor!!lalalalalalala=p

k la,that's all for today..tired already,night all..
chaos~ =)

i'm eating my dinner now,hmmp..hungry wor,hehe=p

today my boss posted 8 big boxes of books from kuching to us..gosh!!8 boxes ler!how i gonna do all the things??luckily got my friends la,haha..so i think will be busy this few days,hehe..good lo,no need go think about this and that,hehe=)

hmmp,today my friend-wanrou she came my working place..we two chat about many things ler..got good one,bad one,happy one,sad one,worry one and many la..told her what i'm thinking,what i really want and more..felt more better after share with her,thanks ya wanrou=) hehe..thanks for trying help me to solve the problem,really appreciate it=) maybe i should do what you told me,hehe..but wait me think clearly 1st la..i will make the decision one day,no need worry about that=)

today got many pimples poked out again!!!!oh no!so pain!!i hate it!may be is the time liao,haihz...what can i do again?just drink more water norhs..

beside that,my cousin-jax she tomorrow morning flight will go back to KL,wish her all the best and take good care ya=) God always be with you=)

我知道


从来没想过 不能再和你牵手
委屈时候没有你 陪着我心痛
一切都是我 太过骄纵 以为你会懂
一直忘了说 我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然 分开的理由 我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以 即使到最后 还微笑着要我加油

我知道你还放不下我
才会 在离开时 闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实 这份爱没停过

曾经完整幸福的梦 在脑海里头
我多希望你 还在我左右

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然 分开的理由 我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以 即使到最后 还微笑着要我加油

我知道你还放不下我
才会 在离开时 闭着眼没有回头
答应你 我会好好过
不让 这些眼泪白流

yay!!my 200th posted!!!hehe!!hope can continue it til 300=P

hmmp...today me think about what a?so many things is surrounding in my mind now wor..
but is ok for me la..may be is time to give it up?or is time to forget all the sadness?or is the time to accept that?is the time to be crazy?is the time to be happy?or is the time to release all my pressure??......................................

actually me today off nehs,but i have to work..luckily i'm not work at bookstore whole day..it's really killing me if whole day at bookstore..cause no people then i will start think about craps you know..kept on think this and that..me just now at bookstore 2 or 3 hours only ler,then think many again=.=!gosh!!somebody can help me there?haihz..i think no one can help me in this,should face it all by myself right?i'm on the way already,just jia you bah..so i don't want let myself feel so boring,nothing to do,just sitting there or what,if not i sure think about this and that..even me didn't think to negative way but still will go think about it nehs..anyway,may God bless always..never mind,i will be more stronger and braver=) jiayou.....

if one day me suddenly lost in this world,even you can't find me,can't contact me,or what then you will how??sad?keep looking for?or just like that?hmmp..may be.....
suddenly me think about this question..sometime felt tired really hope that can lost in this world for a while or go a place far from here living without sadness,and happiness is always be with you=)..this is super duper good right??and i know that's impossible..but,sometime really hope that..even just a second me also want,release all what i want..
so all i have to do now is be more stronger and braver to face the reality in my life!=)

well,stop talking this,hehe..
gonna stop here..
continue tomorrow bah..
night,sweetdream=)
chaos~

''Never explain yourself to anyone, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. The most difficult phase of life….is not when no one understands you….. but it is when you fail to understand yourself...''

[copy this from my sis's friend]
i agree this..=)
it's true..

today really is a bad day for me..
is really suffer me man!hmmp!
really made me angry!!!!!!!
whatever!!lazy to say..

tomorrow still want work nehs,til morning 9am plus 7pm..
actually me sunday off day de nehs,but i went to kk last week so i replace it back lo..haihz..
really tired..feel that want get sick,please..i hate get sick..please don't come and find me,plus this week me no more off day so please...i can't get sick nehs,sigh~

went to jax's house just now..ate dinner with them,so full nehs..plus i no eat my lunch so just now ate so much!take many of foods in my plate,but?at last gave it to my mum,lols!cause i can't finish eat=.=!luckily didn't kena boom,teehee=p then?came back to my home norh,online again lo..if not?nothing to do again=.=!but online boring too..just now changed my msn personal message to ''just ignore me''..then my friend asked me back ''who dare to ignore you o?'' lols!!gek dao=.=!may be there is many people ignore me arh,just you don't know,hehe...

ok,stop talking craps..
should i go sleep now???
is 10pm++ now nehs...
gosh!please come and help me!!!!!

i don't know want how to describe my mood now..
confuse?worry?sad?moody??
i don't know nehs..
i already tried my best..
so i won't be moody..
so i won't be sad..
so i won't cry..
so i will be happy always,smile always=)
although i'm still kept think about it..
but i still hope my friend that can be happy always,take good care always...
promise that.....really hope that........


went to parkson today,watch G-Force..nice to watch,funny and cute=)
after that went to korea restaurant opposite the Chung Hwa..
hmmp,1st time went to there..ordered some food,nice to eat too..not so spicy,my friend he ate many,lols!and he told me something,somethings that made me bla bla bla.......
hmmp!i already tried my best..sure i can do it=)
anyway,thanks for the movie,thanks for the dinner,thanks for the bread,thanks for the all=)
really=)

i'm hungry now=X 2pm ate my lunch til now,hehe..
hmmp,today me very soi ler!early in the morning i scream at my working place!!gosh!!cause i saw a big insect!if kena bite will die de ler!i don't how to say in english la,chinese i know la..called ''wu gong chong'' gosh!!!i really want pengsan when i saw that!!!=X now think about it still felt very gross man!geli a!and hoh!!after i scream then my friend came then you know what happened???that stupid ''wu gong chong'' is gone!!!Gosshhhhhh!!!til just now i came back still haven't find that stupid thing!T_T tomorrow that ''wu gong chong'' will come out boh??kinda scare ler!what type insect me also scare so please get away from me!!!!PLEASE!!!T_T
then when i came back home haven't go in my door me already scream!!gosh!!!!!!!can you imagine that??one day scream two times??and still jump here jump there like what!grrr..my mum still laugh at me,sobsob..mummy!you know me very scare insect then that stupid insect at the back of me but you didn't tell me,still quite there nehs...T_T one day i will get heart attack!hmmp!gosh..
beside that,my friend moody wor..don't be moody la..just go take a rest then all the bad mood will get away from you=) hehe!happy always la=)
stop here,night=)
sweetdreams=)

I'm only me when I'm with you-taylor swift

Friday night beneath the stars,
in a field behind your yard,
you and I are paintin' pictures in the sky.
And sometimes we don't say a thing;
just listen to the crickets sing.
Everything I need is right here by my side.
And I know everything about you
I don't wanna live without you.

I'm only up when your not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.

Just a small town boy and girl
livin' in a crazy world.
Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true.
And I don't try to hide my tears.
The secrets are my deepest fears.
Through it all nobody gets me like you do.
And you know everything about me.
You say that you can't live without me.

I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.

When I'm with anybody else it's so hard to be myself.
Only you can tell.

That I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me
Who I wanna be
Well, I'm only me when I'm with you
With you

♥

gosh!!i'm damn angry now!!grrrrr!!!!=X haihz...but felt better after calm down,hmmp!okok,stop talk about this..
started working today nehs,tired..plus at my working place very boring de nehs,doing nothing,goyang kaki..but around 3pm chin hin came,lols!!play til so crazy!and he still don't want give me the chinese star!sienz him a!still want me beg him hoh!=.=!!actually he got gave me before,but that one i totally don't know how to use it,lols!!install also no use nehs..so i asked him find another one for me,then?he ngiao ji me!still want me beg him wor..man man wait la you=p may be i can try find it in google=p and hoh!today he found my book!gosh!!luckily he didn't see anything!phew!!cause i kept on stop him!!used my FULL energy,hahaha=D you will never see what i'm wrote!!=p and that's is my secret nehs..i want keep it for myself only,hmmp..=) ♥
well,stop here..nothing to write nehs..
so night,and have a nice dream ya^^
chaos~

zao an!!!!!=)

good morning everyone!!=)
actually i'm still sleepy wor,hmmp..can't continue sleep nehs,don't know why..this few days sleep not very well,got panda eyes!!lols..
hmmp,i'm hungry now,aww...opps!suddenly think that bread bought from jax!haha!!it will be my breakfast i think,hoho=p
well,gonna stop here..go check my facebook 1st=P
so bubbai^^
take care
and have a nice day ya=)

**capture capture**

did you saw any crocodile?hahahha=Ptook this at beaufort bridge..


actually i don't know what's that,lols!took at beaufort..


took this when on the way to KK!my number-6566!!so i faster took it!hahahhaha=p



took this on the way to KK too=)


took this on the way went to one borneo=)saw the mosque??hehe=p


chocolate banana cake,haha!did you see anything??=D


my name start from "J",haha!!took this two pic at KK-secret recipe=)


fruits queen-mangoesteen and fruits king-durian!hahahhaha!!!


lols!!see the goose!i took this when on the way go my mum de 'san ba'..i took that goose it's looking at me de nehs,hahaha!pro liao!
then the next it durian tree!lols!!so many=X if drop down,no eyes to see,haha=p


took this in the toilet,hahahahhahaha=D still want paid for 30cents arh,at papar there,haha XD


actually i want buy this at one borneo,but at last i din buy it nehs,hehe!shark!!grrrrrr=p
hmmp,that's all for this trip..cause i didn't bring my camera's memory card!!grrrr!!!so i bring my camera also no use,sienz!!!reached lawas i just realize that=.=!haihz..so i just took some only lor,hmmp...
beside that,me want post the photos that i took when my aunt's singing competition,hehe..shun bian liao bah=)


me with my lovely aunt=) *peaceV*


my cousin and my two of aunt=)


my aunt=) she won 1st prize in girls category=)


me and my cousin-jessica,blur ler.....=X


CHEN's fan!!!from taiwan,hongkong,singapore,japan,korea and thailand!!!hahahhahahahha=D
hmmp,i think that's all only la,haha!if i miss it i will post it up again,hehe=)

and last is my yummy foods-bread..brand Gardenia=) haha!!my cousin at KL finally bought it back to me=) cause miri no sell nehs,so i asked her help me bought it,thank you very muchie,jax=)


my aunt very like it too,i miss this bread for one week?two week?hmmp...nice!!!you all must try it,hehe=p actually that banana and strawberry one i haven't try it before,jax intro me said not bad,hehe..so i will try it later,lols=p hmmp,anyway..thanks ya=)

woohoo!!!!reached miri=)
backed=)

reached=)

hmmp,just reached lawas,hehe=) mum still think that want stay here over night nehs..but i don't want nehs,i want direct go bah..mummy still discuss with my aunt..mummy,can direct go or not??hmmp...
today i really woke up 6am,but!my dad haven't wake up at all,lols!still lying on the bed nehs..so i won again,teehee=p
okok,stop here..wait til my next post bah=p
wish all the best=)
chaos~

today felt ok already wor=) good!even sometime still got think about it and felt confused too,hehe..but i already tried my best=) so hope can be more good then..=)

tomorrow i'm going to KK,hehe=) til next Tuesday,i think is tired for me but is ok la..at least can take a break for me go play=)happy yi xia xia=) by the way,my dad said tomorrow 6am go ler,cause we drive our car go ma..but i don't think so,haha!i think done all the things may be already 7 or 8am++,haha!!my mum just now asked me sleep early,lols..then i still blogging here,teehee=p sorry mum=p cause tomorrow i have to say bye bye to my pc liao ma til next Tuesday,lols=p so let me finish this post 1st=) beside that,tomorrow school holiday start nehs,hope won't traffic jam at brunei..really tired sit in the car whole day then still traffic jam,sien arh..so may God bless=)

hmmp,just pack finished my things..is any that i forget put in my bag?my cloth,my vitamin,my camera,my medicine,my wallet and???ermmmmm,i think no liao gua,hehe!ohya!today i saw a big big big cockroach at my working place!!!!!!then?????run la!!!!!kong bu nehs=X then at last that cockroach death also la..but not me kill,i'm not so geng til dare go and kill it,lols=p

well,i'm gonna stop here..so friends,you all take good care ya^^
will continue when i'm come back from KK=)
bubbai^^
night=)

phew!is 8.32am now=)
finally today i can slept over til 8am nehs..last few days just slept til 6 or 7oclock only,hmmp!so this few days i got panda eyes!lols=p and the freaking pimples,sobsob......please get away from me=)
well,a new day for me..should learn to be stronger and braver=)
jiayou bah=)
wish you all have a nice day,take care=)

i like this song!!小男人 大男孩sang by 萧敬腾!hehe=) a happy,funny song!lols=P
his new album is nice to hear..you all must try it=)

i'm hungry now,but i'm eating now too=) fish ball with tomato sauce=.=! lols=P
moody today?i tot that i can hide it very good,but seems like got people realize that..i already tried my best,still the same?then i have to add oil again,hmmp!by the way,thanks for tell me that,even after i heard it almost drive me crazy,sad,shocked!at least you got told me..but now is ok already le,after calm down myself..so no need worry about it,ok?=)

today working sooooooo boring!!gosh!you guess how many chinese novel i read??7!!gosh!!cause too boring liao nehs,then i don't want just sitting there then think this and that so i go find novel to read..then?this way is worked to me wor,hehe=) plus not many customer today so i read novel and goyang kaki this whole afternoon=.=!teehee=P
and my face!!grrrr!!!!poked out pimples again!!!please la,when just can stop it??when just can be balance back???!!!!!sigh~ me already control myself don't go eat fried foods liao nehs,still no use??T_T never mind la,can diet also,teehee=P but every time i said wan diet then sure failed!never success one,wuuuuT_T boh bian,saw the yummy foods can't control myself,haha=D
so hard to diet,getting fat fat fat=X

beside that,today my streamyx line soooooooooooooooooooooooooo weak,even want on my msn also hard,sigh~~ my friend told me yesterday that his streamyx vry lag,then i straight said ''HUI MER??''lols!then today turn me,grrrrrr...then now i just know that all my friends is the same now,lag daooooooooo.........=X

is any that i forget to write?hmmp..seems like finish already boh,hehe=)
so stop here lor..
chaos=)
night and sweetdream..
JIA YOU!!

morning!

morning everyone!!!!=)
i think today is the nice day for me gua~~=p hope so..
everything is ok,fine now=)
is 7am++ now,me woke up so early nehs=p actually 7am me already woke up lur,tot that i can continue to sleep,how know can't then i give up lor,hehe=p then i woke up straight sit at front of my pc again,hahhaa=p even me haven't go out my bedroom,lols!mummy!i'm hungry now!is any yummy to eat a??=)
opps,early in the morning rain already nehs,cold=X today work til 9.30pm nehs,gosh!ok,is ok for me..at least i'm not just sitting at home like nerd=p if not think this and that again,i really hope that is over now=) suddenly really miss the way that........shh!kept this for myself!=p
friday~~can you please come faster?hehe=) really need a place to give me to crazy now!then go kk good a,can be crazy like what!no people know me at kk ma,hahahaha=p then miri can't ler,send me to hospital,lols!okok,stop talking craps=p
okok,then....stop here la,continue tonight??hmmp,may be=)
so chaos~~
and have a nice day,wish you all the best=)
take care=)

i'm very sad now..
i'm very moody now..
i'm very down now..
i'm disappointed on me now..
i'm totally lost my way now..
i'm really hurt when i heard that..
i don't know how just can let all the things over..
is there somebody can listen to me?
is there somebody can help me?
is there a place to me hide myself and cry?
T_________________________T

finally i told him,luckily he can accepted it,i really scare that hurt you,really scare..may be your friend is right..ya,he's true.......
i just need a place to calm down myself..
i really need it now..
my friends said may be after cry then you will get better..
the way to me now only right??

maybe you're right.....
maybe you said de is true.....
sorrryyyy about that.......

finally~~~~~

wohoo!finally i can used my own pc online and blogging=) but i'm hungry now=.=!hmmp..
lols,just now my sis sent me a link of video!you all must watch it!ngaiti!i laugh til my tummy burst!xD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Lb_sfdylkw you must watch it!lols!!!when bad mood may be you can try it,i already bookmark this link,hahahhahahah=P when emergency=)
hmmp,today felt more better already=) hope i can continue it,don't be moody=) today my working place totally no customer nehs,duhh...then?BORED!!=.=!i have nothing to do nehs,so?kept on read my novel,haha..
ohya!my photos!i haven't upload it,teehee!wait me free 1st norhs=P tomorrow i have to wake up early T_T 7am nehs!gosh!i think i'm the 1st one reach working place,wuuuuuuu=X then tomorrow want work til 10.30pm nehs..gosh!i have to work til 10.30pm,tired!i want sleeeepppppppp=P don't want work,hahas!then no money then cannot buy anythings,lols..and i want go KK next week,no money very cham nehs,hehe..
okok,stop here..blank..
continue tomorrow=)
tata,night=)

T__T

almost 2 weeks i didn't blogging,hmmp..the stupid phone line problem,me already lazy go talk about it..til today same!can't on,even my home's phone also can't call out!sien!!called 100 four times ler,answer is the same ''WAIT'',cause the sub cable stolen by thief!grrrrr!!!!!cable also want stole?please la,aiyo T_T before you want steal it can you please think about us?don't let we all area here get into trouble!so now i have to borrow my cousin's laptop online T_T
actually i got many things to say,but today my mood really down,anyway i will try my best to face it..i don't want other people realize that i'm moody,very down..so jia you bah,you can do it better..
last week my aunt got singing competition nehs,i got took some pic but now i'm not using my own pc so can't post up,so wait til i can on 1st bah..beside that,she won 1st prize in girls category=) and Oct still want go brunei for the next competition nehs..jiayou o!if can i sure go there and support you!!jiayou wor=)
by the way,yesterday got discuss with my working staff cause i want take leave when hari raya,hmmp..i lazy say about this just the conclusion is i can go,hoho..good!may be this few days for me don't stay at miri better=X then everything will be ok=) i want go KK next week,hehe=) daddy said go KK by car wor,hahas,so i can sleep in the car lo and listen to my mp3=p hope after me go there can throw all the sadness here!!!!!!!hoho=) may God bless me always and of course my friends=)
hmmp,last two week gastric 3 times nehs..just kept on ate medicine,hope it won't happen again..the feelings is kinda suffer for meT_T ohya,just now went to canada hill climbing..almost half years no go liao lur..still tot that i can't finish climb all the mountain,lols!hope next week can go again..diet!
well,i'm no mood to continue anymore so just stop here bah..
hope everything will be ok=)
wish you all the best and happy everyday=)
chaos~~night

opps=P

hahaha!!my dad just boom me just now=P sorry papa,i don't know you already wait me at downstairs liao ma,so sorry..when me and my cousin go in the car then daddy kept on nag nag nag and nag,haha=P sorry,cause before when reach mummy got called me ma,but today no call nehs,so i tot you haven't come lo,hehe=) sorryyyyy=)
beside that,my [______] seems like very down..hope he don't think too negative la,just be positive,everything will be ok,trust me=) i know now for you is very hard,you need time..just let the time bring away your sadness and replace in happiness=) i don't know how to help you,but i will always support by your side..just be more braver and stronger=) jiayou^^ so just try your best to do it,i know you can=)

gloomy day~~

aww,today whole day raining nehs,felt cold..even can't see the sun too,hmmp..the sky looks like so sad,cry almost whole day='(
felt bored today at my working place,nothing to do..just sitting there playing games only=.=!read magazine,plus raining again made me felt so sleepy..
well,yesterday got wrote about that i want take leave when hari raya,then today i discuss with my mummy again..they seems like want go ler,lols!so can give me a confirm answer?i need to tell my boss wor..by the way,just go for 4 or 5 days only nehs..really want go?rush here rush there?lols!i think so..but is ok la,may be mummy too miss my aunt,haha=P if want go then go lor,just give me a confirm answer please=) so mummy,you faster confirm answer then tell me=)
is 10++ now...felt boring,nothing to do again nehs..soooooo?????
stop here looooooo....=)
night and sweet dreams^^

grrrrr!!upset!!

sienz!i'm kinda beh song now..whatever,i won't let you make me feel moody!many people already knew that your attitude always like that,so.....i won't blame you,just if you beh song me what just come and talk to me,don't go tell other people me what what what,you always like that not tired de mer???really can't understand what you thinking=.=!phew!okok,stop this topic=)
well,anything happen today??hmmp..i think no la,just like normal lo=) ohya!just now got discuss with my boss that i want take leave when hari raya nehs..but seems like very hard..she just can arrange 4 til 5 days for me only nehs..cause mummy said may be want go to KK find my aunt ma with my 2 cousin..then if i don't want go then leave me alone at home,my mum sure worry about that..so if want go just got 4 or 5 days only ler,plus we all is drive our self car go nehs,not go by aeroplane hoh..drive to lawas then to KK almost one day ler,then already waste 2 days in go and back liao?left 2 or 3 days nia..go where also want rush,tired de nehs..if cannot then just don't want to lo,hehe=) wait til November or December lo,hehe!mummy can ma?can la hoh=P
beside that,one of my friend he tonight want sleep at airport,lols!cause he is waiting the flight to Taiwan..til tomorrow morning,hahas!anyway,take good care of yourself la^^ and must wear your face mask too,is important!i know very suffer cause i went to KL before got wear also=.=!hard to breath de nehs,but is important so you don't have choice!hoho=P and enjoy your this journey to Taiwan also=)
so i stop here bah,night and sweet dreams ya^^
chaos~